So I've decided to whore myself out.

I have opened a tshirt store and I decided it would be a good idea to put some of my drawings on tshirts and try to sell them.

Check it out!

Ugh, I'm ashamed of myself.

Check that, I'll be ashamed of myself if I actually make any money.

My Super Girlfriend

Evolution of Intelligent Design

Well, Ted is busy having adventures in New York City, and I've been having some adventures of my own here in Minnesota. Most of Ted's adventures no doubt involve hookers, LSD tabs & giving false names to the NYPD, while mine have mainly involved my cat Lewis, whom I adopted two weeks ago. Needless to say, we've both been neglecting our blog for quite some time now, so I thought I'd share one of my recent design projects here--in sort of a step-by-step series that reveals a bit of my process in creating a graphic design. This one was for a theatre friend of mine, to be used for her acting/voice-over website.

Remember that time Ian and I both hijacked his iMac?

But seriously, stop using this effect for your facebook pictures.  You suck.


I showed Ian the wonders of photobooth, and this time we joined forces to create some wonderful pictures.

Remember that time I hijacked Ian's iMac?

Ian and Jill were nice enough to let me stay with them for a week and a half before I leave for the big city to pursue my dream of not living in a frozen wasteland rife with Puritanical liquor laws.  I used Ian's computer to take some headshots that are sure to launch me to fame and fortune in New York CITY!

Happy Birthday Mr. President.  Your pal, Kanye West's white cousin, Ted West.

Here's a part where I'm pretending to be a tiger with glaucoma.

It was a hard winter back in '08...maybe someday we'll find our piece of the pie.

Kum & Go actually exists.  No really, it does.  They're all over the place in Wyoming.  REALLY!

Shoot him!  He's the real robot!  

mmmCOMPUTER CLAN COMPUTER CLAN COMPUTER CLAN PICARD WAS MUCH BETTER THAN KIRK TEN MINUTES TO WAPNER MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

These two are both for my album cover when all my other dreams fail and I decide to become a Christian Rock Star.  

Peace out Minnesota.

It's August!

And who knows what this month will bring? Maybe fame and fortune. Maybe Ted will finally get off his lazy ass and finish that children's book. Maybe Ian will drop Ted like a bad habit the instant something better comes along. All we can say is that we'll get some more crap posted.

Also, I'm moving to New York City in September. My time in Minnesota is at an end, and after the past 3 years, I'm ready for the big city. In the meantime, enjoy this lovely picture of Ian and I, and we'll start up this bloggy nonsense soon enough.

MS Paint Coloring

I labored over the hot laptop that belongs to my parents today to create this fine specimens. Notice the varied color palette. Aren't you jealous of my digital design prowess?

Photoshoppe Colouring

I own the computer that was built by Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs

My computer is made of granite and I launch my internet application by chiseling MS Dos language into it with a sharpened bone fragment and a rock.

Seriously.

Sean Wendt: He's the man. He's the MAAAAAAAAN.

Kind of.

This is my roommate.

He looks exactly like this.

Happy Birthday America!

Another heartbreak

I probably was fishing around some deep seated emotional scar tissue when I came up with this one.

Enjoy my pain!

Ooh, Sexy Boy

I tried some colored pencils this time. This guy looks kind of like my high school psychology professor who really hated my wacky antics.

Collaboration: Part II

This is another doodle that Ted, Corby and I (Ian) made together over a couple beers last weekend. I decided it would be fun to color it and make a 3-panel strip from our sketches. Ted did the sun, I provided the moon, and Corby is responsible for that slut, Mother Earth.

Preggers

This is Ian, posting on behalf of Ted. While he does NOT have access to the internet at his new job, Ted DOES have access to everything he never wanted to know about his coworker's womb. Hang in there, Ted.

Collaboration!

What do you get when three astonishingly brilliant forces combine to create a collaborative work of genius? Well, frankly, we don't know either. But at least we tried. Twice. P.S. Ted is the Scrabble king, and the M***y P*g got OWNED. ;)

A little something different

Being unemployed, I have a lot of free time that I spend on the internet. Thanks to fellow video game junkies like myself, I have stumbled across a game from my childhood that I forgot. A game that is so epic it broke the casing of the NES cartridge with sheer awesome power. A game with a story so heartrending and beautiful, I still get misty eyed thinking about it. A game that will forever be remembered as the greatest.

The game is BAD DUDES.

I know what you're thinking, and let me assure you, the game is just as great as it's title makes it sound.

Now while I have posted a video of the game being played courtesy of youtube, I do want to point out some of my favorite gems.

Number 1:

One of the first things I learned about writing a good story was grabbing the audience's attention. Some random stranger who is hanging out at the DMV getting his photo taken claims that the President (of the United States we can only assume) has been kidnapped. By ninjas. Tom Clancy must be spinning in his grave.

What's that?

Really?

Huh.

Honestly though, if a random stranger in a bomber jacket looking like he just got his eyes dilated at the optometrist came up to me and told me that some Japanese assassins kidnapped the President, I would probably scoff and say, "The President was kidnapped? BY NINJAS? Awesome. But in answer to your question, Random Stranger, yes. I am a bad enough dude to rescue the President."

Number 2:

You can play as either Blade or Striker.

Not only are these dudes bad, they're also American Gladiators. (Mental note, think tank a movie script about American Gladiators saving the President. From ninjas.)

Number 3:

Now I was never very good at video games when I was a kid. I never had the patience to constantly try and try and try and try until finally I got the satisfaction of my pixelated character in the TV winning his epic battle against evil. In fact, the only games I beat when I was younger were:

Chip n Dale's Rescue Rangers, and

The Little Mermaid.

Anyway, courtesy of the internet once more, I can now see the final screen of Bad Dudes. Finally! After years I get to see how this game finally ends! Are Blade and Striker victorious in rescuing the President from Ninjas? Let's find out!

Uh.

Hmm.

Well, I guess I should be glad I never spent the time to try and beat this game. Thanks for rescuing me dudes, now let's go get a burger? Oh Mr. President, your sardonic wit and sharp sarcasm constantly keep me on the toes. Hey wait a minute, is that the British flag in the background? Did we just rescue the Prime Minister instead of...wait...of course! It was all an elaborate ruse by the British Government to rescue their head of state! I knew that burger line was forced! CURSE YOU ENGLAND! CURSE YOU TO HELL!


I would like to end this post by describing the scene of playing this game with my younger brother. I was 7, he was 5. We rented the game and spent the entire car ride speculating about how bad the bad dudes really were.

Me: "I bet you can get nunchucks!"
My brother: "I bet you can fly!"

We were ready to rock and roll with our karate bad dude action. We literally played the game for about 20 minutes, at which point my dad came into the room, saw that the President was kidnapped by ninjas, and said, "This game is stupid. Why on Earth would you waste your time with this?" At which point we returned the game to the video store. So when I said earlier that I didn't devote the time necessary to beat the game, what I really meant was my parents were very careful about what kind of entertainment I was allowed to enjoy.

They also didn't let me read comic books. I read the novelizations of comic books.

I wish I was kidding.

Dawgs

My aunt in Texas commissioned some work as a gift for one of my cousins (they're his dogs). So, I figured I'd scan them before I give them away this weekend. The one in the bitchin' shades is Bug, and below him is Ruby. Both drawn with a nifty 2B Medium charcoal pencil. Woof.

From Ian's Sketchbook

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything, so here's a little sketch I made last night. I might color it in Photoshop later, but for now...here it is: fresh, raw, unadulterated. Like sushi.