A little something different

Being unemployed, I have a lot of free time that I spend on the internet. Thanks to fellow video game junkies like myself, I have stumbled across a game from my childhood that I forgot. A game that is so epic it broke the casing of the NES cartridge with sheer awesome power. A game with a story so heartrending and beautiful, I still get misty eyed thinking about it. A game that will forever be remembered as the greatest.

The game is BAD DUDES.

I know what you're thinking, and let me assure you, the game is just as great as it's title makes it sound.

Now while I have posted a video of the game being played courtesy of youtube, I do want to point out some of my favorite gems.

Number 1:

One of the first things I learned about writing a good story was grabbing the audience's attention. Some random stranger who is hanging out at the DMV getting his photo taken claims that the President (of the United States we can only assume) has been kidnapped. By ninjas. Tom Clancy must be spinning in his grave.

What's that?

Really?

Huh.

Honestly though, if a random stranger in a bomber jacket looking like he just got his eyes dilated at the optometrist came up to me and told me that some Japanese assassins kidnapped the President, I would probably scoff and say, "The President was kidnapped? BY NINJAS? Awesome. But in answer to your question, Random Stranger, yes. I am a bad enough dude to rescue the President."

Number 2:

You can play as either Blade or Striker.

Not only are these dudes bad, they're also American Gladiators. (Mental note, think tank a movie script about American Gladiators saving the President. From ninjas.)

Number 3:

Now I was never very good at video games when I was a kid. I never had the patience to constantly try and try and try and try until finally I got the satisfaction of my pixelated character in the TV winning his epic battle against evil. In fact, the only games I beat when I was younger were:

Chip n Dale's Rescue Rangers, and

The Little Mermaid.

Anyway, courtesy of the internet once more, I can now see the final screen of Bad Dudes. Finally! After years I get to see how this game finally ends! Are Blade and Striker victorious in rescuing the President from Ninjas? Let's find out!

Uh.

Hmm.

Well, I guess I should be glad I never spent the time to try and beat this game. Thanks for rescuing me dudes, now let's go get a burger? Oh Mr. President, your sardonic wit and sharp sarcasm constantly keep me on the toes. Hey wait a minute, is that the British flag in the background? Did we just rescue the Prime Minister instead of...wait...of course! It was all an elaborate ruse by the British Government to rescue their head of state! I knew that burger line was forced! CURSE YOU ENGLAND! CURSE YOU TO HELL!


I would like to end this post by describing the scene of playing this game with my younger brother. I was 7, he was 5. We rented the game and spent the entire car ride speculating about how bad the bad dudes really were.

Me: "I bet you can get nunchucks!"
My brother: "I bet you can fly!"

We were ready to rock and roll with our karate bad dude action. We literally played the game for about 20 minutes, at which point my dad came into the room, saw that the President was kidnapped by ninjas, and said, "This game is stupid. Why on Earth would you waste your time with this?" At which point we returned the game to the video store. So when I said earlier that I didn't devote the time necessary to beat the game, what I really meant was my parents were very careful about what kind of entertainment I was allowed to enjoy.

They also didn't let me read comic books. I read the novelizations of comic books.

I wish I was kidding.